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Republican Donald Trump reclaimed the presidency in a decisive victory this week and is now set to serve in the White House for another four years.
If you’re one of the tens of millions of Americans who voted for Democrat Kamala Harris and believe Trump’s racist, fascist views do not represent yours, the days after the election may seem surreal or frightening.
Psychologists say it is normal to feel unsettled when half of the country appears to be living in a different reality from yours. In fact, research on negative thoughts has found that emotional acceptance — or acknowledging that your emotions right now are valid — can actually help you feel a little bit better.
But that doesn’t just mean resignation. Compartmentalizing, eating comfort foods, journaling or simply sitting in silence at home are all appropriate responses.
If you need to disengage from work, that’s OK. “I know plenty of people who just took the day off because it was just going to be too difficult,” said Tanisha Ranger, a Nevada-based clinical psychologist. “You do need an outlet where you can be yourself without any apologies. And for, I’m going to say, 98% of us, it’s not work.”
Try setting limits on what you’re watching or listening to following the election. “I would suggest, if you are feeling very intense emotions, to not feed it by watching news channels or listening to podcasts where they’re talking about it, because they’re going to be talking about it basically everywhere for at least the next couple of weeks,” Ranger said.
And know that, however you feel, it’s normal.
“Your feelings are valid,” Ranger said. “Whatever they are, how you choose to express them can be positive or negative. But the feelings themselves, whatever they are, are valid.”
Below, people across America discuss how they are managing their postelection disappointment and fear amid the responsibilities of their jobs and families. Take comfort or heart in what they shared.
Responses have been lightly edited for clarity and length.
“I’ve been sitting at my desk, and I can’t stop thinking about it [the election]. I’m browsing TikTok, and you see all these videos of women really disappointed and people are crying and really sad. And so I’m like, ‘I have to get off social and give my mind a little bit of a break,’ and then I can’t. I’m sitting there in the quiet, so I thought, ‘Maybe I just listen to an audiobook — like, bring me to another realm where things aren’t as terrible.’ It’s a romance book called ‘Two Can Play.’
“Once I plug in, I’ll listen to it and the banter is really funny. And you can relate to some of the characters, or just the really simple things that they go through. But once I pop that headphone off, I’m like, ‘Oh, right.’” — Michele Wong, a New York City-based digital imaging technician
“Today was hard. As a Black educator showing up to work, knowing that I am working in a world where racism and sexism still exists made me sick to my stomach. Being at work was a double-edged sword. Yes, it was nice to see my students, but I was filled with anxiety around the future of public education and what’s to come. I came home and have been glued to the couch, just sitting in silence because I am mourning.
“I think allowing yourself the time and space to mourn is much needed.” — Kianni Johnson, a first-grade teacher in New York City
“I just ate whatever I wanted today. For breakfast, I ate Tater Tots. I kind of just went nuts with food, like chicken nuggets and fries. I just gave myself grace to do whatever I wanted today and take a break when I needed to.
“Usually I take a 30-minute break, but I took an hour break just because I needed the space. And I was very up-front with the staff that I work with: Today was just not a good day for me, so I was going to be a little bit slow and I probably would go home early. So I did go home early, but everyone was pretty understanding at work.
“It helped a lot that we all had the same views about especially health care for women. We were all pretty depressed today. But at the same time, because we are in health care, at least we can make a difference where we are working now.” — Louie Angeles Chan, a nurse based in San Francisco, California
“I wasn’t going to work. I was going to crawl back into bed and just not come out of my room. But I decided to check my work emails, and there were emails from several of our clients that are scared and asking us if we can do their estate documents and/or the adoptions, as well as doing their wills, health care directives, and power of attorneys because they fear that their marriage will no longer be legal at some point.
“So, I snapped out of my anxiety and shakiness and got to work ― if only to help ease their fears, because their fears are so real. I’m a middle-aged white woman with less to fear than our families, and I want to do everything I can to help them until we are not able to.” ― Tracie Ferris, a paralegal in Minneapolis, Minnesota
“I remember my dogs have no idea what’s going on. I found myself watching them enjoy the sunshine, beg for their walk, eat their breakfast and go about their day like any other day. There was something so beautiful and innocent about thinking of the day from their perspective. While I was busy feeling like the entire world was falling apart, nothing changed for them, not just because they are oblivious to politics ― ha! ― but also because they only really know how to live in the moment.
“As an engaged American with the duty not to stick my head in the sand, I know we can’t, and shouldn’t, emulate the innocence and ignorance dogs get to enjoy. But I think they provided me a lesson in stealing moments of beauty where I can, and staying grounded in what’s real. I could still enjoy the sun, touch the grass, cuddle the dogs, hug my kids and drink my tea.” — Adrianna, an educator in Forestdale, Massachusetts, who asked not to share her full name
“So far I’ve cried on all of my breaks. I stay active and typically walk about 3 miles a day, but today I hit 7 miles.
“It really helps that I work with women and we share the same concerns, so there were a lot of hugs and checking in on each other. Getting through the sadness of it has been the easier part to deal with. It’s feeling the rage for people I have loved and respected that really made today difficult. I will never forgive the people I knew who didn’t vote. I’ve dealt with that hurt by journaling and blocking folks.” — Jai Stringfellow, an elementary school reading instructor in Dallas, Texas
“As a service-industry worker, your job is to facilitate connections. To partake in the celebration. To hold space for those who are looking for a lifeline. Regardless of who you voted for, the days after an election are a particularly hard time to be a service-industry worker, because there is a vast array of different emotions that you have to show up for. …
“ … I don’t care if we disagree about policy issues, I don’t care if our opinions on what is best for the economy are different. But to see your neighbors endorse someone whose campaign was based around derision and division is frightening and disheartening. And to be expected to show up and greet them with a smile and hold space for them, when you are hurting on the inside, is extremely challenging and painful.
“It requires an extraordinary level of cognitive dissonance, and it feels disempowering. To silence your emotions for the preservation of your tip-based income and livelihood is dehumanizing. For me, I’m coping with it by journaling and trying to reach out to my loved ones to see how they are holding up. The future feels scary and uncertain right now, and it feels like the moral fabric of my country and my community is heading in a direction that I don’t personally agree with. How does one cope with that? I’ve been researching the residency requirements of other countries, living out a fantasy in my head where my family can travel and work remotely from other places and remove ourselves from the fray.
“But the truth is, that’s not realistic. It’s too hard to leave your friends and family behind. It’s too hard to add distance between you and the people you care about the most. So, instead, I call my loved ones and I ask how they are doing. And they say, ‘Not great,’ and I say, ‘Not great.’ And we sit in silence because there is nothing left to say.” — Dean Boskovich, a restaurant worker in Asheville, North Carolina
“I am starting a process of selling my car and things, because we’re not really sure of the outcome of what this means, because Trump has been very vocal about the direction that he wants to take America. The mass deportation plans, that’s a concern because my mother is married to someone from Sierra Leone. And while he’s been here since he was, like, 16, there’s still just the concern.
“I want to have money in my hand to buy a plane ticket if I need to, and to be OK. To buy a plane ticket and have some extra cash in my hands, if it comes down to that.
“I felt a little bit more comfortable being in Atlanta [in Georgia], because maybe that’s a red state, but it’s a blue city. Where we are in South Carolina right now, it’s really just kind of a toss-up, and we’re concerned about this emboldening bigots to be outwardly racist or overtly violent. And we really just want to take care of our family and our kids, so we want to do what we think is best for them.” — Zyereri Jackson, a cybersecurity professional in Atlanta, Georgia
“Something that a lot of people at work kept saying was, ‘The sun still came up today,’ and just that kind of mentality of ‘The next day is going to come,’ so, like, get done what you need to get done today.
“And I would say spending time at work, being around kids, it’s really impossible to focus on anything else than them, and they’re such a good reminder that there’s so much more future to have. When stuff in our lives feels so stuck, you see these kids that are coming up and it’s like: ‘No, we’re good. It’s going to be fine.’ And we have to do it for them, too. I don’t feel like I can be taking a timeout right now. I need to show up for them, because that is the future.
“I had quite a few who were like, ‘Who did you vote for, and how do you feel?’ It’s not my job to impart my ideas on them. So just putting it back on them: ‘Well, how do you feel today? Let’s treat everyone with respect.’ Regardless of who someone’s family voted for, or how you felt about it, we’re all here together in this community.” — Reina, an elementary school teacher in New Mexico who asked not to share her full name
“Compartmentalization as a coping strategy is something that I, as a Black woman working in any space, have had to master. It’s a survival tool, a way of showing up and functioning even when the world around me feels like it’s pushing back. Compartmentalization lets me get through each day, putting a barrier between my personal thoughts and feelings and my professional self.
“When upsetting news hits, like during election seasons or in times of national tension, I turn to this skill to help me push through. But that doesn’t mean I’m not affected. In fact, sometimes I feel like I’m carrying the weight of two realities: my professional responsibilities and the ongoing struggles we, as Black women, face. …
“ … It’s exhausting, and it’s isolating, especially when you’re one of very few Black women in your workplace. I have support in some ways as an employee, but the truth is, I can’t fully express my feelings, fears or frustrations at work because I know that a lot of it wouldn’t be understood. …
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“ … This resilience, this compartmentalization, it’s what lets me stay in the game even when the world is telling me I don’t belong. And while I can’t always be open at work about the realities I face, I hope that my presence, my work and my actions speak to the possibility that we are here, we are deserving and we will keep going.” — De’Jovia Davis, a basketball operations director in Kent, Ohio
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